Emotional intelligence

Definitions

“ The term ‘emotional intelligence’ does not yet appear in dictionaries; as such, its definition is still an unsettled issue as are the boundaries of this new domain.
Bar-On (1997)		 ”
“ Emotional intelligence concerns the ability to carry out accurate reasoning about emotions, and the ability to use emotions and emotional knowledge to enhance thought.
Mayer, Roberts and Barsade (2007		 ”
“ “…the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions."
Salovey and Mayer (1990		 ”

Topics

Emotional intelligence (EQ) has become a popular topic for staff training in organisations during the late 1990s and 2000s. Some of the topics commonly taught include:

  1. EQ: why it can matter more than IQ
  2. The framework
  3. Personal competencies
  4. Self awareness
  5. Self management
  6. Positive psychology - how to use your strengths to enjoy your work and improve performance
  7. Group EQ and teams
  8. Social competencies
  9. Social awareness
  10. Relationship management
  11. Solutions focused coaching strategies

An Emotional Intelligence Framework

SELF AWARENESS
SELF MANAGEMENT
SOCIAL AWARENESS
RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

from Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence see http://danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/

How to become more emotionally intelligent

(adapted from LexisNexis)

  1. Be aware of your body. Posture and gesture reflect your feelings. Practise reading body signals.
  2. Notice which situations or people make you uncomfortable. Work out why.
  3. Anticipate situations you don't like. Think what you want to achieve and keep focused.
  4. If you feel you are going to lose it, count to 10. Then ask: do I want to shout or do I have an alternative?
  5. Ask for feedback. Knowing how you come across identifies strengths and weaknesses.
  6. Give feedback not criticism. Challenge behaviour, not people.
  7. If criticised, acknowledge appropriate responsibility then see it as an opportunity to solve a problem.
  8. Twice a day listen to someone without interruption. Then repeat what they say: 'So you think ...." It helps you understand others' feelings.
  9. Identify and cultivate key people who would be useful when difficulties occur. Thery will respond more willingly when you need them.
  10. Be available to talk to people; this is more important the higher up you go.
  11. Set achievable targets, eg I'll make two points at the meeting.
  1. Greet others authentically
  2. Create a sense of safety for you and your team members
  3. Address misunderstandings and resolve disagreements
  4. Listen carefully to the person speaking until that person feels understood.
  5. Communicate clearly, directly and honestly
  6. Solidify the team’s vision of its tasks and its relationship to the organisation’s mission.
  7. Hear all voices. Allow for options.
  8. Ask others to share their thoughts and experiences and accept their frame of reference.
  9. Speak up when people are being excluded.
  10. Make careful choices about group actions and schedules. Treat everyone’s time as valuable and their presence as critical
  11. Be brave.

Short articles, tools and resources

  1. Identify the 'real problem'. The presenting behaviour is rarely the real problem. The real problem is often the emotional reaction as a consequence the thinking and emotions from a flight or fight response.
  2. State your feelings using 'I' statements. Be direct, honest and specific.
  3. Offer solutions and/or negotiate mutual agreement for resolution.

References

  1. Mayer, J. D., Roberts, S. D., & Barsade, S. G. (2008). Human abilities: Emotional intelligence. Annual Review of Psychology, 59, 507-536.

See also

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