Bartending/Cocktails/Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

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Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

Flavour "Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick."
Units 10000
Standard drinks 7916
Artistic depiction of the effect of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster was invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox, a major character in Douglas Adams' novel The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is described as "like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon, wrapped 'round a large gold brick." It has also been described in the novel as "the alcoholic equivalent to a mugging; expensive and bad for the head." Its original, fictional recipe, is as follows:

Recipe

  1. Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit.
  2. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V(Oh, that Santragian seawater! Oh, those Santragian fish!)
  3. Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
  4. Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in honor of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
  5. Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qalactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heavy odors of the dark Qalactin Zones, subtle, sweet, and mystic.
  6. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
  7. Sprinkle Zamphuor.
  8. Add an olive.
  9. Drink . . . but . . . very carefully . . .

Mars recipes

Recipe number two

1 Shot Vodka, Blue label preferred.

1 Shot Pernod

1 Shot Southern Comfort

1 Shot Creme de Menthe

Dash Lime

Top up to 1/2 pint with lemonade.

An extra shot of Southern comfort is acceptable, as is doubling the whole thing up to a 8 or 10 shot pintful.

Drink with care.

Recipe number four

Another recipe:

Recipe number five
Recipe number six

Another recipe:

Also needed:

Mix the first five ingredients and chill (usually for 24 hours). Then, take a sugar cube and let it absorb 1 milliliter of cinnamon extract and 1 drop of yellow food coloring (optional). Place three ice cubes in a glass and pour the chilled liquid mixture over these. Drop in the sugar cube and stir to dissolve, or just let it sit (if food coloring is used, often the sugar cube is just left to sit, to create a layering effect with the color). Sprinkle the Angostura Bitters in the drink, and add an olive. Drink, but very carefully.

Alternatively, one can let the sugar cube absorb 1 milliliter of Angostura Bitters, and sprinkle ground cinnamon on the top of the drink, thus omitting the cinnamon extract.

It is often more convenient to make a large amount of the mixture ahead of time and chill for a day, rather than to constantly mix more of it. It's also best to save it for a special occasion, such as Towel Day, due to the work put into making the drink.

Recipe number 7

2 measure of white orujo. 1 measure of gin. 3 measures of tonic water. Angostura drops. Lemon drops. Add an olive.


Recipe number 8

1 dash absolut citron 1 dash goldschlager 2 dashes everclear 1 dash lemonchello

Find an old Champagne glass like the kind Bogey uses in Casablanca

Fill the rest of glass with extra dry or brut champagne: Andre if, you're... well, a "hitchiker", Vueve Clique if you're not.

Recipe from "Spiders" Nightclub in Hull,UK

Invented in 1981 By George Mercer and Mark Borril, formerly known as a firebird special, and is a combination of a harvey wallbanger and a tarantula! named so because anybody who drank one passed out ,

Pour over some ice, stir and enjoy!

Recipe from "The Firm" Nightclub from the Old Melbourne Hotel in Perth, Western Australia, c1990

Equal parts rum, vodka, tequila, plus cream and grenadine

From the The Firm Facebook group.

Recipe reverse-engineered from a stain on RJ Lanning's towel

WARNING: Drinking Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters may cause serious damage to the rods and cones in the human eye, thus explaining why consumers of this beverage have often reported it to be green in color when, in fact, it is not.

Official Fried Farmers Recipe

Flavour "Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick."

In a carafe

Add 2 bags of ice and stir well. Remember... Flavour "Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick."

Recipe For The Ones With Seriously Damaged Rods And Cones

Fill the glass 3/4 full of ice, add the booze, top it off with OJ, mix well.

Recipe from a Pan-Asian restaurant-at-the-end-of-a-collegiate-Black-Hole-Universe

Set aside for later... DO NOT MUDDLE!!!

Fill a cocktail shaker w/ ice, then...

SHAKE. Strain—loosely, w/ Boston shaker

ADD the seasoned Sugar Cubes (see above)

TOP w/ Sprite + Tonic

GARNISH w/ olive [Do not omit!]

Recipe number forty-two

Into a 12 oz glass

Add

TOP w/ Sprite (or fizzy lemonade)

Stir exactly twice from top to bottom!

Add an olive

For a nice touch add 8 1/2" frozen gin cubes (4:1 water:gin)

The Mallet Assembly's Recipe

Fill a 28-oz. hurricane glass with crushed ice. Add the following in order:

Stir, then top off the glass with ice. Drink. Slowly.
This recipe is a modified version of the Pat O'Brien's® "Skylab [Fallout]". Some have suggested replacing the apricot-flavored brandy with peach-flavored brandy and cutting back on the citrus while increasing the amount of Collins mix; purists argue that the resulting drink is a bit too sweet. This recipe is not strictly analogous to Douglas Adams' recipe, but the effect is the same, and the equimolar quantities of ingredients make it easily scalable (until you've had one, at least). As an added bonus, the dregs may be used to restore the shine to old pennies.


The BarBot Recipe

Prepare one part of each:

Have a robot dispense each measure into an iced tumbler from a considerable distance. Thank your robot, and prepare for the rest of your night to become a blur.

The Housewarming Recipe

This is a slightly sweet drink, but hey, I like sweet. And this recipe gives an unparalleled visual experience.

Use a 16oz clear glass. Add the following:

Then add a glowing ice cube. You can find glowing LED ice cubes online. The best are the ones that change color. Then:

That is, fill up the rest of the glass with Sprite® and Club Soda in a 1:2 ratio, but leave an inch or so of room at the top of the glass.

It's best if the Sprite® and Club Soda are room temperature, not cold.

Then add a piece of dry ice.

For a minute or so you'll have the full Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster experience: a glowing, bubbling drink overflowing with mist (Fallian marsh gas). Once the dry ice has bubbled away, enjoy. Best served at night, or in a dark environment.

The Mister Break Recipe

Stir the following, straight without water or ice:

The Stage Show Recipe

The 42nd birthday party recipe

Mix the following:

Drop in, without stirring:

Finally, drop in a chunk of dry ice.

Availability

A Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster may be had at:

Other bars may be able to mix any of the recipes above (or one of their own). Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters were also served at a couple of the stage show adaptations of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in the late 1970s, according to Neil Gaiman in his book Don't Panic: The Official Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Companion. In Russia a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster may be had at the Coffee&Books art-cafe in St.Petersburg.

Notes

  1. ^ Galactic Guide recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
  2. ^ Drinksmixer.com recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
  3. ^ On Neopets.com, a Pan Galactic Gargle Slushie, a kiddie version of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, is sold.
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